I’m Breaking Up With Unworthy
By Janne Robinson
Sometimes when we are ready to let go of a traumatic experience, an unhealthy situation or a limiting belief —we hesitate.
What will go in the space?
It’s almost like two parents who focus on their kids nonstop, then their kids move out and they look at one another and go, “Fuck. Now what?”
“Do I even love you anymore? Do I want to live in this house? What are my hobbies?”
When we let go of something that is taking up a lot of space, it creates a lot of space and that space can be scary.
It can be uncomfortable and new and make us want to shrink back into the story or belief we had.
For the past five years I have consciously been working at the belief of being unworthy.
It was a belief that originally stemmed from the absence of a father.
When I was little part of myself equated his absence to : “I’m not enough”.
If I was enough and was worthy of love, he would have showed up.
He never showed up.
About five years ago I went out into this world and found him. In one of our conversations my big-bad-wolf of a limiting belief stared me in the heart when he said openly, “I got the postcard your mom sent when you were born. I knew you were alive, and how to contact you. I chose to raise one daughter, not two.”
I wasn’t chosen and not only did I not feel chosen growing up, I also had the privilege of hearing my belief and fear from my father’s mouth directly.
So I went home and did a fuck-ton of self growth and work.
For the past five years I’ve been vividly aware and accountable to playing small. I have countlessly acknowledged the belief of my unworthiness and each time had to find the strength to tell it to scram.
A few days ago before I began the first workshop I ever facilitated I started to feel unworthy.
I started to feel afraid of my ability and hesitated from taking the step to expand my life’s work into new contexts.
Leading workshops and mentoring are the new horizons my belief that “I am worthy” have allowed me to venture into. I’m excited to extend the “why” of my life’s work, but it’s a space I’m still maneuvering – a space where fear and limiting beliefs started to slip back in.
It lasted for about a moment and then this feisty sassy part of me loudly hissed, “How the next two hours goes does not decipher your self-worth.”
Brene Brown talks a lot about how we cannot attach our self-worth to projects.
We are not the result of our actions–we are our actions.
And when we act in alignment with ourselves, and with truth and fire and love and authenticity–we will never fail.
When we do what we love we will always be a success, regardless of the outcome because we are walking our truth and in our power.
This is why risking and starting before we’re ready and taking big swings are so important.
My belief of being unworthy was a big fat fucking crutch that was allowing me to shrink and stay small—in friendships, relationships and business.
I no longer feel like writing, speaking or saying “I am unworthy”.
As of three days ago I feel pretty fucking worthy and I don’t want to live in the unworthy space anymore.
That belief was taking up a lot of time, energy and filling my life with scarcity, low self-esteem and bad relationships—it sucked.
The work of letting go of unworthy has been done. The hands of my heart are clean and I am ready to fill that big empty space with something seriously fucking awesome.
Abundance, success, connection, relief and love are all waiting for us in that space once we let go of the need to be a victim to our past.
These things can’t enter into your life unless you create a place for them to grow.
If your bed is filled with unworthy, why would a lover or partner capable of loving you show up?
Listen world : I am ready to let go of unworthy.
Dear Unworthy,
I’ve acknowledged you. I’ve heard you. I’ve observed you. I’ve spoken to you. I’ve written about you. I’ve talked about you. I’ve dreamt of you. I’ve lived you. You’re taking up too much space now. It’s time for you to go.
There are bigger and better things waiting patiently to fill that space.
They are jumping and hooting outside the door saying, “Is she ready? This is going to be SO awesome! Being worthy ROCKS!”
They are ready to join the dance party where unavailable men, undeserving partners, and scarcity aren’t allowed in because my new beliefs are popping champagne showers and raising the roof on our success.
Love,
Worthy