Day 60: Mia Gentile
What do you do for a living?
I’m an artist. Right now that entails singing, acting, dancing and a little bit of writing. I sing all styles. I do musical theater and straight drama.
What do you do to feel alive?
My profession makes me feel alive. Performing electrifies me. When I’m acting on stage I am dancing to my own tune. I’m fully alive. When I’m singing I feel like I’m flying – like I’m one with God. I performed with a symphony recently for the first time – there was an entire symphony behind me – and the opera house was so big. I just felt so expanded – like my entire energy just blasted out into the universe. Other than my profession, I’m a practicing Quaker. That makes me feel alive. Our meetings for worship are simultaneously human and divine experiences. Just sitting in the silence makes me feel alive – silence is such a cleansing and opening portal. Also relationships with people – being with people makes me feel alive. Writing music and poetry and reading and listening to music and poetry. Sex makes me feel alive – really good sex – with someone you really love. Bad sex makes me feel less alive; Journaling – when I’m dealing with a lot once I can process it it just transforms. I can take a shit experience and spin it into gold. That kind of personal alchemy that comes from self-reflection through embracing my humanity; Dancing makes me feel so alive – Although (as you can see) everything makes me feel alive! I’m buzzing!
A lesson you learned from your mother:
I think being a good listener. She didn’t teach it to me – she just is one. I’m such a talker that being around her makes me realize what a gift it is to connect with a really good listener.
A lesson you learned from your father:
Everything else there is to know! I learned very early on the big lessons: To be compassionate people’s experiences and How to communicate well with other people. When I was fighting with my brother he would sit us down and teach us how to listen to each other and be compassionate to the other side. Another big one is not to take cruelty towards you personally. To be able to be hurt by someone and process that pain – validate yourself through that – love yourself through that and then ultimately realize that the reason they treated you that way is because of their pain or insecurity or fear. Once I got older he taught me I could do anything I set my mind to. Anything! At first that meant working really hard and having discipline, but ultimately it became about understanding how to manifest. Consciously manifesting and believing in a world in which what you focus on you create – and trusting that the world is abundant – you will have whatever you need and want so why not dream big? All of these lessons fall under “inner direction” – not being a victim to external circumstances. Ultimately, I learned that experience is everything and that the experience exists om the now and oneness exists in the now.
What’s the most beautiful thing you saw today?
There was a couple this morning that came to sing for us – seeing these two beautiful individuals – these highly evolved people and perfect counterparts for each other – make music together reassured me in the knowledge that there really is someone for everyone and that partnership may be really difficult but that it’s ultimately one of the greatest gifts on this earth.
What’s one thing you wouldn’t want anyone to take away from you?
My sense of myself, but at this point in my life no one can take that away from me. Everything else – material possessions – they can take that away, but if someone stabbed me in throat and I could never sing again – that would be the worst thing. Singing makes me so happy. It’s my soul rejoicing. But, then again, if they did, it would ultimately teach me a massive lesson and I would transcend that experience if I had to.
What’s a thought you would like to never have again?
“I’m not good enough.”
If you could become an inanimate object what would it be?
A dream catcher because it holds the power to allow people to dream more abundantly and positively – because it captures the negative thoughts and allows us to dream of splender and abundance for ourselves.
When do you feel most loved?
When I choose to receive love. Sometimes I choose not to, but when I do I take in as much love as I can hold. I’ve always been loved in this lifetime. Even in the worst of circumstances – by my parents, my friends, and when I’m on stage – but the deeper love is the love that I give myself and the love that I feel when I’m one with God. Self love – it’s so important, but so hard to give.
If your life were to end tomorrow what would be left undone?
I honestly feel that if my life were to end tomorrow then that was what it was supposed to be. I’ve given enough joy to people that I could accept that in the moment. The things that come to mind that are left undone are things for my ego, but outside of my ego I would like be a catalyst for more positive change in the world. If I had to die tomorrow I would come back and do that in my second lifetime…But I feel pretty strongly that it is not my time. I think you’ll just know when it’s your time.
What global issue would you take on if you didn’t have to worry about how?
I think it would have to be violence and war. I’m a Quaker and that’s fundamentally what Quakers are about. All other issues can be fixed if we get along – if we realize that violence is not the way to solve any problem – it only begets more violence. I would definitely be that pageant girls that answers “World Peace.”
What’s the scariest thing that ever happened to you?
Being depressed and “uncontrollably” anxious. I like to think of depression in terms of that famous Youtube video “David after the Dentist” – “Is this going to be forever?” – “Is this real life?” I’ve had experiences on drugs – on shrooms – and my brother kept saying “This is going to pass”, but when you’re depressed and you’re a victim of your mind and negative thoughts you don’t know how long that’s going to last. I hit rock bottom my junior year. I wanted to crawl into a hole. I didn’t want to participate in the world. I lost passion for the things that were vibrant. To me depression is the scariest thing. You behave that way and it becomes your identity. You become a shell of yourself. It’s like giving up and being defeated. But the scariest things are the most transformative things. You get that sense of “I did it” – of breaking through a wall.