However you show up today, the world can take it.
Today, some of us can’t sleep.
Tomorrow some of us will walk this earth with less energy in our bones.
Yesterday some of us were cheated on by partners, and our hearts crack in our chests with each footstep we make.
Some of us are battling depression.
Some of us carry a weight that dares us to lift our feet and get out of bed in the morning. Our pride and shame make us afraid to tell others in case they think less of us.
Some of us are on horrendous diets in order to lose weight because we’re blinded by perfectionism and the scars of the cruel words others have said–words that sprung from empty hearts.
Forgive them, for they do not know you. They had no idea of the impact that these words had.
Some of us are broke.
Some of us are eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches on Wonder bread, waking up each day chained to scarcity and a fear of being homeless.
Some of us are grieving, staying up until 3am speaking words to someone who will never speak back, letting the transparency of salty tears stain our white sheets.
These people will walk beside you today.
They may smile.
When you ask them how they are, they may reply “good.”
Because we live in a society where we are afraid to be anything but “good.”
We are even afraid to tell this to those who love us when we are weak.
Almost four years ago I found my father, my parents split up, I left my relationship, and my roommate said she was moving out in a month.
I was processing some emotions of being left by my father–feeling the non-rainbows and non-buttercups.
I was sleeping until 3pm because I found nothing worth being excited about when my eyes would open.
I enrolled myself in a self-growth course and I called up a friend who I admired greatly–an accomplished chef with a heart as big as the earth.
I decided to tell him how I really was.
I thought he was so awesome. I was afraid after I told him I felt within reach of depression that he would not think I was awesome.
I thought that I would lose him as a friend.
We met in Remedy, a chai shop in Edmonton and sat upstairs with mugs of sweet and spicy milked tea. I told him what was going on and I asked for support.
He showed up for me. He didn’t run away from my heavy.
We went to yoga together.
I had somebody to call and speak to.
If you are battling from depression, insomnia, a broken heart–I implore you to tell someone who is close to you.
If they are willing and able to share your burden, to carry you for a while, let them.
Let that someone be the wind beneath your wings.
We truly need people who can be accountable for our well being on those days that we simply can’t.
I lost someone close to me to suicide this year.
On my sad days, while I’m grieving, I will write a friend and say, “I need a hug, a coffee and for you to take me for a hike today because I don’t know if I want to leave my bed.”
Plastering perfect on your face as a mask doesn’t serve anyone.
However you show up today, the world can take you.